


Stink or Swim

by ragewerthers



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: F3S, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Ridiculousness, Skinny Dipping, Tickling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-10-26 16:56:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17749826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ragewerthers/pseuds/ragewerthers
Summary: Ignis is by no means a house cat, but there are some creature comforts that are harder to give up then others.Using a lake full of fish and gods knows what else as a pseudo-bathtub may be pushing his comfort a bit far.





	Stink or Swim

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bgn846](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bgn846/gifts).



> This is a silly little fic I've written for bgn846 for her prompto involving the guys skinnydipping! :D
> 
> You can also find me on Tumblr at ragewerther.tumblr.com! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy! :)

By no means was Ignis a  _ house cat _ as it were.  He had been through enough training to know how to rough it, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t still enjoy his creature comforts.  

A coffee maker for one thing.  

A bed for another.

And a shower.

Oh his kingdom for an actual, honest to gods shower.

Ignis knew how to get his hands dirty, but that didn’t mean he didn’t enjoy washing them afterwards.

Currently the four of them were finishing setting up camp and all of them had definitely been getting their hands dirty and it was starting to make Ignis’s skin crawl.

Apparently it was starting to get to the others as well.

“And where do you think you’re goin’, Princess?” Gladio groused as he hauled a dirty and crumpled looking Prince out of the tent and away from his attempts at slinking to his sleeping bag for a quick nap.

“Gladio, let me go!  We’ve been doing hunts for the better part of the day!  Can’t I just lay down and die for a second?!” he grumbled, wriggling to try and get away from the arms locked around his waist.

Gladio rolled his eyes so hard that Ignis could practically hear them from his spot by the campstove.

“I don’t think so, Stinkerella,” he said simply before hoisting the younger male up over his shoulder and carrying him away from the tent, causing the Advisor to have to cover his mouth to stifle a snort.

Prompto was not so kind, instantly laughing as Noct squeaked and looked like the most indignant sack of potatoes that the world had ever seen.

“Stinkerella?!” he cried out as he flailed, trying to get Gladio to put him down.

“You heard me!  I’m not lettin’ you roll your grubby little body all over our sleepin’ bags,” Gladio said simply, as Noct continued to grumble behind him.

“You don’t smell like a bed of roses yourself, ya know!  If you don’t lower your arms soon I think the local wildlife will be in danger!” Noct shot back and this time, Ignis did snort, though excused himself as if passing off a sneeze.

Gladio didn’t buy it for a second.

“I don’t smell that bad!” he shot back, instantly depositing the squirming Prince into a camp chair and crossing his arms over his chest, perhaps a little self conscious now.

“I hate to break it to ya, big guy, but I think you could knock out a Red Giant with that funk,” Prompto teased from his spot in his own camp chair, not paying attention as he looked through a few pictures from the car ride here.

Gladio instantly stepped up and got the gunner in a headlock, growling playfully as Prompto made a strangled noise of fear and disgust.

“Keep it up, buttercup.  You think anyone wants to sleep next to you and those socks of yours?” the Shield teased back causing Prompto to gasp dramatically and regret every life choice he’d ever made as he was hit with the full musk of the other man.

“I smell like fresh daisies compared to you!  Noct! Mama Ignis! Help!” the blonde cried out, trying to free himself.

Ignis gave a deep sigh, wondering if perhaps he should leave the gunner to his smelly fate after calling him by that nickname, but as the poor boy seemed to be turning green he decided to intervene.

“Gladio, please release, Prompto.  None of us are at our best, myself included, but one more hunt should put us into some good gil to get us into a hotel where we can all get a chance to freshen up,” he offered peacefully, happy to see Gladio releasing the poor gunner who immediately dropped to the haven floor, gasping dramatically and wheezing.

“Dude, are you okay?” Noct asked amusedly, a light smile on his face at Prompto’s theatrics.

“The things I seen, dude… the… the things I  _ smelled…, _ ” he stammered as Gladio growled once more.

“I’m not that bad!” he cried, flinging his arms in the air before quickly lowering them again.

Definitely self conscious now.

Ignis made his way over to his partner, pressing a little kiss to his cheek and patting his chest.

“They’re only messing with you, darling,” he offered gently, watching as Gladio relaxed slightly and brought an arm up to wrap around him… instantly being hit with the funk that Prompto had spoke of.

On reflex Ignis quickly stepped back and brought a hand up, watching as his partner looked both surprised and hurt.

“I’m sorry, love… but… you know you can get a bit… pungent after a few days,” he offered by means of an apology, lowering his hand once more and fixing his glasses.  “I assure you that you wouldn’t want a hug from myself either, but as I said. One more evening roughing it and we should be able to get into a hotel.”

Pouting slightly now, Gladio went and slumped into his own chair with a huff.

“Well this stinks.”

“Yeah you do.”

“Shut  _ up,  _ Stinkerella!”

As Gladio and Noct decided to get into a mini snit fit with each other, Prompto, who had finally caught his breath, made his way back to his own seat.

“You know… at that last outpost one of the hunters mentioned there being a pond or lake or something around here.  I mean… I know it’s not much, but at least we could wash up a bit?” he offered, making the bickering stop if only for a moment.

Ignis’s lips instantly turned into to frown.  

Wading into an open body of water that fish and any matter of animal waded into to clean up?  That seemed the antithesis of cleanliness, but before he could open his mouth to form his rebuke Gladio was already standing.

“Good idea, Prom.  Now that you mention it I remember him saying that too.  It should be just a little south of here.”

Ignis gaped at the man.  Surely Noct wouldn’t stand for this?  His Highness would say something and put a stop to this… madness.

“I’m game.”

_ WHAT?! _

Ignis turned to look at Noct with wide eyes, trying to figure out if he‘d heard him correctly.

“If it’ll let me sleep in the tent again and get rid of your death pits then I’m all for it.  Besides maybe I’ll be able to get in a bit of fishing as well,” Noct said with a bright smile as he popped up from his chair, Prompto giving a little whoop of excitement next to him.

“Alright!  Stinky field trip!” he cheered, making Noct laugh and push his friends shoulder playfully.

“- there, Iggy?”

“Oh!  Uh… apologies, Gladio.  You were saying?” Ignis asked, realizing that he’d been lost in his own mini spiral of thoughts.

Gladio looked at the man with a bit of concern, but offered a little smile.

“I said, did you want to drive or are we walkin’ there?” he asked gently.  “You feelin’ okay? You look a little pale.”

“I’m fine.  And if it’s not too far I’m sure we can walk.  It would be less conspicuous,” he offered, trying to brush off any concern.

Not looking like he fully believed his partner, Gladio gave a little nod deciding to let it go for now.

“Alright then.  Then we’ll head out in ten once everyone’s got their stuff,” he said, as Ignis nodded dumbly.

Oh his skin was definitely crawling now.

\--------------------------------------

By no means was Ignis a  _ house cat _ … but this… was absolutely unacceptable.

The hunter hadn’t led them astray with his information.  There was indeed a lake near the haven, surrounded by trees and a few outcropping of rocks  and boulders and by all accounts it was rather picturesque… when one wasn’t considering it to be a your personal bathtub.

“Woah.  This place will be great for an impromptu photo shoot,” Prompto said as he glanced around.

“You mean an ‘im-Prompto’ photoshoot?” Gladio said with a smirk, getting a groan from the younger two.

“You’ve gotta stop hanging around Iggy so much.  You’re starting to do horrible puns just like him!” Noct teased, earning him a large tank top to the face, immediately setting him off gagging.

“You thought it was funny and you know it,” Gladio shot back as Noct finally freed himself from the smelly shirt and flung it into the bushes.

Taking the cue from Gladio, Prompto and Noct also started to undress, setting their fresh clothes and toiletries near the closest rocks at the edge of the water.

Ignis… remained where he stood, arms clenched around his own items as he continued to gaze out at the water.

He couldn’t do it.  He  _ refused _ to do it!  This was unsanitary!  A crime against cleanliness!  Fish would see his bits and regardless of how much soap there was his feet would still get muddy and sandy as soon as he stepped out of the water and  _ gods _ knew what other disgusting treats lay at the bottom of that water.

Ignis gave a full body shiver before being drawn out of his thoughts by the sound of a whoop and a rather large splash, the water spraying out enough to sprinkle his glasses with a few droplets.

Apparently the other three had decided that to get over the shock of cold they would each take a turn, running and jumping off a nearby boulder.

Obviously the first one to go had been Gladio, thus the rather large splash that had occured.

He watched as the man soon broke the surface again, flipping his wet hair back from his face and wiping some of the water from his eyes.

“Come on, Princess!  You gonna chicken out on me?” he called back to Noct who glowered down at him.

“As if!  I’m just gonna do my jump with flare!” he declared, standing brazingly in the buff with Prompto standing behind him, equally as naked.  This easily led Ignis to his conclusion on what Gladiolus had decided to wear while bathing and he shook his head.

“I think I’m gonna take a running leap,” Noct began, stretching his arms over head and to the sides as if readying himself for some Olympic sized tournament.  “Then maybe do a double flip twist forward before striking a sweet pos-GAH!”

With a little push between his shoulders from Prompto, Noct flailed, fell forward and landed with a SMACK in the worlds most painful belly flop.

Gladio was literally beside himself with laughter as Noct slowly sank into the water before popping up again and sputtering, looking like an angry wet kitten.

Prompto was wheezing from his perch on the boulder and even Ignis couldn’t help chuckling a little at the sight.

“You’re a dead man, Argentum!” Noct growled back up at Prompto who merely shrugged at the threat.

“I’ve had a good run!” he called back with a bright smile, taking his own running leap before jumping and landing a perfect cannonball beside Noct and Gladio, dousing them in water again.

As Prompto resurfaced and Noct proceeded to try and drown him for his earlier betrayal, Ignis found himself getting lost in his thoughts again.

“Aren’t you comin’ in, Iggy?  The waters not that cold, I promise!” Gladio called, behind him Prompto was attempting to splash his way to freedom from Noct.

Ignis shook his head instantly.  His mind made up utterly and completely.

“I’m sorry, Gladio, but I refuse to use this… this… fish tank as a bathtub,” he called back, setting his clothes aside.  “It’s unsanitary. I’ll wait til we get to an actual hotel. Thank you.”

Ignis’s words seemed to cause all the chaos happening in the water to cease.

Gladio was staring at the man as if seeing him for the first time.

Prompto, who now had Noct in a headlock and Noct, who had a hand full of Prompto’s hair, both stopped to look at the man as well.

“But… don’t you want to get clean?  You love being clean!” Noct called back, making Ignis huff a bit as he nudged his glasses a little further up his nose.

“Exactly.  I love being clean, but this is not clean.  No amount of soap will stop you all from smelling like fish when this is all over!” he shot back, though he really had no way of saying whether or not this was true.

“You literally refused to hug me earlier because I was pungent and now that we have a remedy you refuse to do it?!” Gladio asked, swimming a little closer to shore, his eyes narrowed.  “Ignis… don’t make me ban you from the tent like I did to Noctis earlier. Look! Even he’s trying it!”

Ignis snorted and crossed his arms over his chest, turning his face away from the other three.

“Go ahead.  I’ll be perfectly content to take my sleeping bag to the farthest corner of the haven if I have to, but I am  _ not _ taking a bath in that disgusting water!”

Gladio’s eyes had narrowed into slits at this point, watching as Ignis resolutely stood his ground, refusing to get into the water with them.

Slowly he began to swim forward, but soon he began to pick up speed, his feet soon hitting the sandy bottom and once he was positive he had good footing… he attacked.

With a war cry he rushed from the water in all his naked and tattooed glory, looking like the world’s most deranged seabird with the black feathers printed on his back and shoulders glistening in the sunlight.

Ignis instantly startled but as he turned to run he found two huge, wet arms wrapped around him before being picked up bridal style.

“Gladio?!  Gladiolus! You put me down this instant!  Don’t you dare do this or I swear to Ramuh I will  _ end you _ !” Ignis sputtered as the Shield started to carry him toward the water.

With a bright smile, Gladio chuckled and held the man a little closer, pressing a kiss to his temple.

“I’ve had a good run,” he teased, using Prompto’s earlier words before running full tilt with Ignis in his arms back into the water, getting up to his waist before tossing the Advisor in, glasses, shoes, clothes and all.

With a loud yelp, Ignis sank into the murky depths to a chorus of cheering from the other three.

However… instead of popping back up like he’d expected Ignis to, Gladio watched as the ripples that signaled where Ignis had sunk began to calm, his smile soon giving way to a look of confusion and then a bit of worry.

“Ignis?” he called, wading closer to the spot he’d thrown the man, the water well up to his chest now as he wondered what had happened.

He didn’t have to wonder long.

Shooting up out of the water behind the Shield, Ignis instantly latched onto the man before dragging him down under the water with a yelp.

“Gladio?!  Ignis?! Noct did you see that?!” Prompto yelped as he watched Gladio jump back out of the water, Ignis still latched onto him from behind.

“I’m sorr-EEHEHEE!” Gladio squealed as he doubled over in the water, instantly giving way to hysterical laughter and alerting the others to what torment was happening to him.

Ignis’s hands were latched onto Gladio’s sides, fingers digging in and tickling mercilessly as the larger man attempted to dive back under the water to escape his attacker.

“No you’re not, but you  _ will be! _ ” Ignis seethed, his hair fallen over his features from it’s normal updo, glasses askew on his face and his shirt clinging to him uncomfortably.

Gladio positively howled with laughter as Ignis moved one hand down to knead against his bare hip while the other scribbled against his stomach.

“Do you think we should help him?” Prompto asked as they watched Gladio being tickled to death by a vengeful Ignis.

Noct gave a little hum of thought before coming to a conclusion.  

“I suppose we have to,” he sighed before raising his hands out of the water to cup them around his mouth to shout.

“Get under his arms, Iggy!  You know that’s his worst spot!” he called out as Prompto blanched beside him.

“Dude… Gladio’s going to murder you when he gets free,” he gunner warned, getting a chuckle from the Prince.

“Eh, I’ve had a good run,” he said lightly as Ignis seemed to attack the Shield with renewed vigor.

“My phone was still in my trousers you behemoth!” Ignis chided, though any real anger had started to melt away into amusement as Gladio shook with laughter in his arms, his hands having found their way to ticklish ribs and scribbling quickly as Gladio’s arms pinned them in place.

“I-I’m… I’m sosososo SAHAH-REHEHEE!” Gladio begged, cheeks rosy from laughter and exertion.

Finally deciding the man had suffered enough, Ignis stopped his attack, simply wrapping his arms around the larger man and shaking his head as he rested his chin on his shoulder.

Gladio easily slumped against him, back pressed against Ignis’s chest as he tried to catch his breath.

“I…. I’m sorry, Iggy.  Really,” he panted, giggling adorably when Ignis gave him a little teasing flutter of fingers against his side.

“You’d better be,” Ignis murmured softly a moment later before sighing and stopping, letting Gladio go and watching as the Shield turned around.  He could see the question in the others eyes and gave a little sigh.

“Well… seeing as I’ve already been contaminated I guess I might as well try bathing in this.  But I want you all to know that this means that as soon as we get to a hotel I get first dibs on the shower.  No if’s, ands or buts about it,” Ignis warned, looking from Gladio over to the other two who had finally decided it was safe to get closer.

“Fair enough,” Gladio said softly, it was the least he could do after what he’d done to Ignis.

“Good.  Now… if you’ll excuse me I feel I’m a bit overdressed for this occasion,” he said as he waded his way back to shore to undress out of his wet clothes, getting wolf whistles from Gladio as soon as he was out of his boxers and flushing slightly with an amused smile.

“You’re absolutely incorrigible,” he chuckled.

“Yeah, I am,” Gladio called back, a large smile on his face.

It wasn’t long before Ignis was back in the water with the others, everyone finally settling down to bathe a bit and to be fair, Ignis did feel a bit calmer after getting some of the grime off his skin.

It may not have been what he was used to, but really it was better than how he had felt before.

As he rose up from the water after rinsing the shampoo from his hair he felt two strong arms once again settling around his waist and smiled.

“You smell good,” Gladio murmured softly against his shoulder, pressing a soft kiss there as Ignis leaned back against him.

“As do you,” Ignis admitted with a soft smile, soothing his hands over the others forearms.  “You no longer smell like you rolled in Anak dung.”

Gladio chuckled and nipped at his neck lightly.  “Watch it, Iggy or you’ll get yourself in trouble,” he warned lightly as Ignis gave a little hum of thought.

“Ah… well… I’ve had a good run,” he teased before sending a massive splash of water up into Gladio’s face, making the man sputter as he made his escape.

No… this wasn’t so bad at all.


End file.
